Types of whisky drinkers: Which type are you?
There are a lot of different types of whisky drinkers in the world, and observing them can be one of the most interesting activities ever. We have all observed drinkers at some point in our lives, whether it’s at a restaurant, or at a bar, or even a house party. But there is something particularly fascinating about whisky drinkers that deserves a closer look at their shenanigans.
You have your standard Scotch-heads who are always on the lookout to read out gospel from the whisky-bible to their fellow drinking-brethren, and then you have the as-long-as-its-whisky people. Between the former and the latter, there are some truly interesting and amusing types of whisky drinkers that we have all come across at least once in our lifetime.
Read on to find out the many different types of whisky drinkers, and their particularly eccentric and oddball activities
The Single-Minded Single Malt Lover
We all have to meet this particular person at some point in our lives, and it is not a pleasant experience. The Single-Minded Single Malt Lover is a person that only exclusively drinks single malt Scotch whisky, and nothing else. They look down on people that drink Blended whisky, even when there is zero reason to do so.
They don’t miss an opportunity to burst out into an impromptu monologue on how single malts are superior, and can often be spotted getting into completely unnecessary arguments with people that don’t know why Scotch is whisky and not whiskey.
The Newbie
A relative newcomer to the beautiful world of whisky, and isn’t quite sure of what they like yet. The Newbie is the type of whisky drinker who relies solely on their limited knowledge to decide what to drink. They may end up sticking with brands that have considerable hype around them, and dabble in the Jims, the Johnnies and the Jacks.
This is the equivalent of developing a taste for cinema, but only watching the Marvel superhero films, or a Salman Khan film. The Newbie is only in for the experience, and don’t bother with getting into the nitty-gritties, yet.
The Cola-In-Everything Guy
While the name is pretty self-explanatory, this is the type of whisky drinker that loves their cola as dearly as they do their whisky. Often spotted with a glass that resembles a ‘Jack & Coke’, they just can’t help resist the temptation dousing their whisky with cola.
Hand this fellow a single-malt, or the most ‘bottom-shelf’ spirit you have in your whisky cabinet, and they will proceed to add whisky to it. This type of person can start a riot inside a whisky-tasting club, and can feel at home at a nightclub surrounded by fellow cola-people; you know, as long as you can provide the cola.
The Know-It-All
This type of whisky drinker takes pleasure in pretending to know everything there is to know about whisky, and are poised to show it off. Their knowledge of whisky may be superficial, and while they may masquerade as experts, only know about whisky from reading about it on Google to use it in conversations.
The Know-It-All-Whisky-Drinker can be an annoying one, always serving unsolicited titbits about whisky in order to show off their vast reservoir of whisky-gyan. They enjoy in cosplaying as a walking handbook to everything whisky, but can probably not tell apart The Glenlivet from a Laphroaig.
The Anti-Cocktail Activist
If you thought the Single Malt Lover was something, you aren’t prepared for the Anti-Cocktail activist who hates cocktails, and thinks there is only one right way to drink whisky. The Anti-Cocktail Activist believes that people who drink cocktails are weak, and that whisky should never be mixed with anything.
They always order their whisky neat, and make sure they say it out loud for everyone to hear, making eye contact with everyone on the table as they order their drink. Special emphasis on ‘no ice’ as they do it.
The Will-Drink-Anything
This is the fun guy to have over at a house party because they have no reservations about any brand, they don’t care whether they are drinking whisky or whiskey, and they haven’t even bothered to learn the difference between a single malt and a blend.